I Can’t Decide

A Parody of: I Can’t Decide by Scissor Sisters

A satirical take on the role of an Executive Coordinator
Written in 2019

It's not...easy having yourself a good time  
Running up on borrowed hours  
Watching out they don’t get squandered   
Read and take a Lyft at the same time 
Feels like something I've forgotten
Outlook open, now we’re golden  
I'm not a slacker tonight   
Don't want to be a bad guy  
I'm just a scheduler baby  
And now you're sent in my way  

I can't decide   
Whether your requests live or die   
Oh you'll probably get the facetime  
Please don't poke your head and pry 
No wonder why 
The calendar’s dead and tight  
It’s back-to-back and double-booked   
Block the day and hold the times  
We're going for a ride  

It's a...b*tch convincing people I'm not theirs
If I help call me a pleaser 
If asks were cats you'd be a litter  
Pleasing everyone is just like you   
Booking gigs until I'm crippled
Hold ten rooms I won't get pickled  
I've got to hand it to you   
You've played by all your own rules
It takes some sweets to get me   
And now I’m feeling hangry  

I can't decide   
Whether your requests live or die   
Oh you'll probably get the facetime  
Please don't flood the chat and pry  
No wonder why 
The calendar’s dead and tight  
It’s jammed and packed and travel-filled    
Block the day and hold the times  
We're going for a ride  

Oh I could book you on a Friday
But you know he will be away  
I won’t deny I also miss him when he’s out   
Oh I could delay my reply  
But you might email in the night  
And call me when I'm sleeping   
That's why   
  

I can't decide   
Whether your requests live or die   
Oh you'll probably get the facetime  
Please don't hang your head and cry  
No wonder why 
The calendar’s dead and tight  
It’s upgraded now and hard-to-use    
Block the day and hold the times  
We're going for a ride~